***This is raw content. Please forgive any grammatical errors. I write from my heart – let it flow – and pray it heals souls that read it.***
When my abuser decided to behave outside the lines of what God said a husband should do towards his wife, I was hurt, traumatized, broken. But, I soon realized that I did something often, and closer to my time to leave. I would consistently say out loud “This is not what a marriage is supposed to be.” I remember looking around and feeling confused, thinking “Why am I here?” “Why is this playing out like this?” Then my mind would snap to it and reveal, “I am not supposed to live like this.” “This is not what God has for you.” “There’s more for you.” The Holy Spirit was speaking through me. A still, small voice would tell me what is meant for me is better than that present circumstance. So, I had a sense of peace that moved me through each phase of transition and transformation.
Those two things are what I want to share with you all this Sunday afternoon (Feb. 25, 2024, 3:19pm CST). Transitioning from one phase of life to another. The transformation that occurs in mind, body, and spirit at the end of the transition. God takes us through transitions all the time. I’ve heard some women say, every decade they become different in their social stances, in their life expectations, how their body moves, etc. Just 3 days ago a 70+yo woman told me she feels like every 3-5yrs things change about yourself. Each of those times, no matter the timespan, a transition is happening. Neurologically, spiritually, emotionally, physically, God is preparing us for his next move in our life.
When my abuser backed me into a vehicle with his forearm piercing my neck so there was barely any breath left, , while pregnant, I reacted, defended myself, got into the house, and immediately began strategizing how to get out of there. It was horrible then, and challenging to write through right now. But, I know that immediately when I began planning my exit strategy, a combination of street smarts and emotional intelligence (EQ) kicked in honey. I began contacting every entity I could think of to help me make my next move.
Ladies, when it’s time for you to make that move, think strategically and think to win your case in court. You deserve to be protected by every bit, piece, and corner of the law. So, use your emotional intelligence (EQ) to get you there. First things first: be self-aware. Get a moment to yourself and go to the restroom with your cell phone. Set up 2 gmail accounts he’ll never have access to. Record the username and password to each account’s Google Keep app (it’s a note taking app); for backup. Now you have an email for the pictures we’re about to take, and a backup email that can get you access to the other email in case you get locked out. Now, look at your face, head, neck, entire body as much as you can in that mirror. Take a picture of every bruise, every cut, every scrape, every black eye, etc. that you see. Immediately email those pictures (better yet, place them all in your Google Drive too) to one of those new email addresses you set up.
Great work sis, you’ve completed a step towards getting justice on your side with recorded proof of what your abuser has done to you. Remember to keep your files safe, your login information protected. And, remember, you have a community of support here. Stay with us, and we’ll provide you every resource we can to help you get to a better life as God intended you to have.
***Only use these tips to help a true domestic violence victim get to safety and justice. Anyone misusing these tips to wrongly prosecute someone should immediately stop use of this site.***